Allison and I are "Crack People."
What? She doesn't look it!
Yes, we are some of the unfortunate souls, who sadly, fall through the cracks during dinner and lunch time. Allison usually misses dinner on account of helping me with the baby. She'll be off rocking or playing or singing to Sophia so that I can prepare a tasty meal for those who do not ever miss a meal. During lunch, I'm so busy fixing everyone else food, food that I can't eat, that I completely forget that I haven't eaten.
Signs that you too are becoming or have already become a CRACK PERSON...
1. You fix 42 different things for lunch and not one of those things is something that you can or will eat. Give yourself -42 points if the name of one of those items has the word "nuggets" or "sticks" in it.
2. You find yourself eating a bowl of "something" after everyone goes to bed each night because otherwise you'd eat your pillow in your sleep.
3. If you do eat one day, you do it standing up. Otherwise, someone will help you eat it.
4. You find yourself fiercely defending the "seconds" because you know some people haven't even had "firsts."
5. When you look in the fridge for leftovers, nothing looks familiar.
6. The last time you sat down was last Tuesday and you're looking forward to doing it again sometime soon.
7. If, before you consider sitting down to eat, you calculate the time you think you have before your fellow crack partner asks for a break.(She doesn't look THAT hungry, I'm sure she can wait 10 more minutes...)
8. If you don't have a partner, you wonder just how long you can go before you starve.
If you have answered yes to even one of these, you're beginning the spiral downward and you probably have a sick and cranky baby. Unfortunately, there is no cure. You must just wait out the condition, a bit like chicken pox. A nice bath after your bowl of something can sometimes make you feel better. Thankfully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In 2 or more years, you will be free from the Crack and on your way to healing.
Now, there is a different type of Crack People out there and unfortunately, my poor son Jon falls into this category. He has Information Crack. No matter what is going on, he will miss the MEMO. He is the poor soul who, for some unknown reason, never knows what's going on until we are leaving or it's happening. I will go to the bottom of the stairs and yell up to him, "JON!!! Hurry up, we're going to be late!" and the poor guy will open his door, look confused (this is a major symptom of Info Crack), and ask, "What? Where are we going?!?!?" Somehow, I manage to tell everyone in the whole house and never Jon. Beware, Info Crack can make you paranoid. It makes you walk around, aimlessly asking people if something is going to happen soon. There doesn't seem to be a cure, although I'm sure if you spent more time out of your room you'd hear more of what's going on. (hint, hint, Jon) ;)
Well, back to work. I KNOW I'm forgetting to do SOMETHING but I can't remember what...
Blessings,
Lisa
9 comments:
LOL! Yes, Jack is in an information crack or blackhole as we call it. He is ALWAYS surprised at our plans. Grace has taken to checking my diary (planner). Sensible girl. She hates to be surprised so she takes matters into her own hands and reads up on the week in advance!
I DO disucss things with Jack. I'm sure I do. I think he just immediately forgets the information I give him. Fortunately he has the type of personality that is easily adaptable and up for anything!{g}
Ah, yes. Info crack is characteristically seen in adaptable easy going people. Sounds like Grace is taking the correct precausions against this terrible disorder.LOL
LOL! Various "crack" cases.. there must be more variations, I'm sure.
I have to sit in the kitchen to eat & protect whatever my children might scrounge after they reject their dinner. Tonight it was the 5 choc chip cookies left after a day of snitching one here & one there -- and believe you me, I sat VERY close to them. So close they might even be gone now ...
But here's what I THOUGHT you were going to say (though I was Scared To Death about you having pictures). My nieces are bad crack people because their skirts are too big / too low. And so their crack is on view for all the world to see & point & gasp. Egads -- if you have THAT problem, just don't tell us, okay?
Cindy,
LOL I'm sure there are many variations. It's just those are the two that are running their courses in my home at present.
Liz,
LOL Believe me, if that was my problem, it would not be posted for viewing.LOLOL You and my dh think alike. That's the first thing he said when I told him we were crack people. He said, what? Your pants don't fit?LOLOL
I've always said I had more of a break when I was getting paid to work--going to the bathroom ALONE and when *I* had to go, eating lunch while it was hot, not having to cut up anyone's food or share my own!
Since moving, I've decided everyone needs to eat the same lunch. Yeah, that was a great idea until everyone else wanted to eat something that *I* didn't!
LOL. Yep, it's easier said than done. I usually have the older kids make their own lunches but the littles are extremely picky and not very good eaters. I'm working hard on fixing that.LOL
That post was great! I can completely relate . . back when our kids were all little . . I would virtually go all day without eating because I was so busy dealing with all the kids :-)
Yep, somedays, food is but a distant memory.LOL
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