Allison and I are "Crack People."
What? She doesn't look it!
Yes, we are some of the unfortunate souls, who sadly, fall through the cracks during dinner and lunch time. Allison usually misses dinner on account of helping me with the baby. She'll be off rocking or playing or singing to Sophia so that I can prepare a tasty meal for those who do not ever miss a meal. During lunch, I'm so busy fixing everyone else food, food that I can't eat, that I completely forget that I haven't eaten.
Signs that you too are becoming or have already become a CRACK PERSON...
1. You fix 42 different things for lunch and not one of those things is something that you can or will eat. Give yourself -42 points if the name of one of those items has the word "nuggets" or "sticks" in it.
2. You find yourself eating a bowl of "something" after everyone goes to bed each night because otherwise you'd eat your pillow in your sleep.
3. If you do eat one day, you do it standing up. Otherwise, someone will help you eat it.
4. You find yourself fiercely defending the "seconds" because you know some people haven't even had "firsts."
5. When you look in the fridge for leftovers, nothing looks familiar.
6. The last time you sat down was last Tuesday and you're looking forward to doing it again sometime soon.
7. If, before you consider sitting down to eat, you calculate the time you think you have before your fellow crack partner asks for a break.(She doesn't look THAT hungry, I'm sure she can wait 10 more minutes...)
8. If you don't have a partner, you wonder just how long you can go before you starve.
If you have answered yes to even one of these, you're beginning the spiral downward and you probably have a sick and cranky baby. Unfortunately, there is no cure. You must just wait out the condition, a bit like chicken pox. A nice bath after your bowl of something can sometimes make you feel better. Thankfully, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In 2 or more years, you will be free from the Crack and on your way to healing.
Now, there is a different type of Crack People out there and unfortunately, my poor son Jon falls into this category. He has Information Crack. No matter what is going on, he will miss the MEMO. He is the poor soul who, for some unknown reason, never knows what's going on until we are leaving or it's happening. I will go to the bottom of the stairs and yell up to him, "JON!!! Hurry up, we're going to be late!" and the poor guy will open his door, look confused (this is a major symptom of Info Crack), and ask, "What? Where are we going?!?!?" Somehow, I manage to tell everyone in the whole house and never Jon. Beware, Info Crack can make you paranoid. It makes you walk around, aimlessly asking people if something is going to happen soon. There doesn't seem to be a cure, although I'm sure if you spent more time out of your room you'd hear more of what's going on. (hint, hint, Jon) ;)
Well, back to work. I KNOW I'm forgetting to do SOMETHING but I can't remember what...